Ok. Let's real talk for a second.
Ever since I can remember, I've had a tenuous relationship with fashion, dressing up, and make up. I've always hated getting attention for things I considered to be superficial. Those who see me on the day-to-day probably know I tend to dress down, forgo makeup, and steer conversations towards whatever my current curiosities are. I want people to see me for me, my brain, my personality. Recently I've come to realize my aversion to owning my own body and my disbelief that beauty and intellectual character are inherently compatible are the products of patriarchy, misogyny, and commodification. We live in a world where womxn are expected to maintain certain beauty standards, but are then criticized for trying too hard, being too vapid, or inciting the wrong type of attention. In spite of this cognitive dissonance, we continue to capitalize the femme and society buys into it--countless products and services targeted for women to make them feel more beautiful. It feels like an endless feedback loop. When it comes to physical appearance it's no wonder I feel damned if I do, damned if I don't. In some ways, it's because of all this I work to reclaim my body, my appearance. For me that means being comfortable dressing up. Really though, when you think about it, when both the act of dressing up and dressing down feels like an act of defiance, you know there is something nefarious afoot. Wouldn't it be nice to live in a world where we all feel secure in saying my body is mine, my body is me, with or without modification?
